Playing “The Dozens” With America’s Politics

If you’re as hip to ’70s era ghetto slang as we are, having endured a complicatedly multicultural junior high and high school education in the inner-city back in the day, you’re probably familiar with a game called “the dozens.” Basically, it’s a contest to see who can come up with the most crowd pleasing jibe about how fat and ugly the other player’s mama is.
It always struck us as a pointless enterprise, even if it only rarely resulted in a fistfight and was frequently amusing, so we’re disappointed to note that our nation’s political discourse seems to have devolved into a game of “the dozens.” Republican President and insult-comic-in-chief Donald Trump is currently engaged in a game of “the dozens” with the Democratic Speaker of the Hour Nancy Pelosi, and although neither side has yet said anything about how fat and ugly the other side’s mama is it’s still a tawdry spectacle.
Trump has recently declared that no Democratic legislation will be signed into law until the party ceases its various investigations of his businesses and campaign and inaugural committee and transition team and administration, and so far Pelosi doesn’t seem at all intimidated, as the investigations inexorably roll on and seem to be winning all the cases in the federal courts. Meanwhile no Republican legislation has any chance of being passed and signed into law until at least the next election cycle, and Pelosi seems quite comfortable with that.
Trump likes to refute his opponent’s arguments by giving them a taunting nickname, and until recently the best he could come up with for the House Speaker was “Nancy,” but he’s now calling her “Crazy Nancy.” He’s already applied the same “crazy” sobriquet to Sen. “Crazy” Bernie Sanders and various other Democrats and renegade Republicans, so he seems to be running out of material. Pelosi replied that Trump was goading an impeachment vote in the Democrat-controlled house that wouldn’t pass the slightly Republican-controlled house, and said his actions were “villainous toward the constitution” and require his family’s intervention. which Trump said was a “very sort of a nasty-type statement.”
There’s no telling what wins favor with the madding crowd these days, but our guess is that Pelosi is getting the best of this exchange. She’s indeed crazy according to our old-fashioned Republican tastes, but lately we’ve noticed she’s relatively sane compared to some of the Democratic presidential contenders, and that so far she’s advocating at least a few further investigations before proceeding with the impeachment of Trump, so maybe Trump has better targets for his insults.
In any case, we hope it all comes down to well-reasoned judicial opinions and a fully informed electorate. We hear Trump’s mama was so fat that on a scale of one-to-ten she was a 747, and that Pelosi’s mama was so fat she kept dollars in one pocket and pesos in the other, but given the stakes that shouldn’t matter.

— Bud Norman