Foul-Mouthed Parrots and a Day Off From the News

Monday was a busy news day, but it was also our birthday, so we decided to take a day off from all that important stuff. We can’t break our habit of writing something every weekday about something we’ve come across in this press, however, so we’ll pass along this amusing true story about a firefighter and a foul-mouth parrot in England.
The story reminded us of a good friend who has the parrot’s offensive phrase tattooed on his forearm, and we also recalled all the great foul-mouthed parrot jokes we’ve heard over the years. Lacking anything else to say at the end of  a long celebratory revelry with old friends, we’ll re-tell our favorite of the genre:
A guy is walking down the street one day, and as he passes a pet shop that has a parrot in a bird cage on the sidewalk the bird says “Asshole.” The guy stops, turns around and walks up to the cage, looks at the parrot and says “What did you call me?” The parrot looks back at him and says, “Asshole.”
So the guy storms into the shop, demands to speak with the owner, and starts railing about the foul-mouthed parrot on the sidewalk and what if a child walked by and how it’s a public nuisance and he’s going to call the cops. The owner apologizes profusely, says he’ll take of it, and promises that it won’t happen again.
The next day the guy walks down the same street past the same pet shop, and this time the parrot on the sidewalk doesn’t say anything. The guy stops, turns around, walks up to the cage and looks at the parrot, then says “Well, I guess I shut you up.” The parrot looks right back at him, and says “You know what you are.”
That’s all we’ve got for now, but we’ll be back on the job tomorrow, and hope we’ll find something else amusing in the news.

— Bud Norman

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