The Democratic Party will convene its quadrennial National Convention in Philadelphia today, and they’ll have their work cut out for them to top the freak show the Republicans put on last week in Cleveland. Being Democrats, though, they might well pull off the feat.
Things got off to a prematurely bad start over the weekend, when the internet-hacking and bean-spilling Wikileaks outfit released a trove of e-mails showing that the Democratic National Committee had long been putting its heavy thumb on the scales to help former First Lady and Senator and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton survive an unexpectedly pesky challenge from self-described socialist and formerly independent Vermont. Sen. Bernie Sanders. This comes as no surprise to anyone who’s been paying the least bit of attention to the Democrats’ debacle of a primary campaign, but the leaked e-mails included juicy new details that the party even planned attacks on Sanders’ religious beliefs, reheated the anger of Sanders’ sizable number of supporters, fed quite nicely into the Republican nominee’s loudly shouted storyline that all of our systems of economics and governance are rigged, and all in all it was such an undeniable disaster that the Democrats were forced to fire their national chairwoman.
Given the Democrats’ instinctive reluctance to ever fire anybody, that’s saying something. There’s likely to be more that’s said, though, as the various sub-plots to this particular tawdry affair will be hard for even the most polite media to ignore over the next four days of the convention. The very fact of the DNC’s computers being hacked can’t help remind any voters still mulling their awful choices that the presumptive Democratic nominee ran an e-mail operation as Secretary of State that the director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation described as “extremely carless” even as he was declining to recommend she be prosecuted for it, and with a majority of the country disagreeing with that non-indictment another leak certainly can’t help a candidate who wasn’t much of a First Lady or Senator or Secretary of State and is such an awful presumptive Democratic presidential nominee that she needed help to fend off a challenge from a previously little-known self-described socialist from Vermont.
Harder to judge is how that juicy revelation that the DNC had contemplated on attack on Sanders’ religious beliefs might play out. They didn’t plan on attacking Sanders for being an ethnic Jew, and we doubt that the ethnically Jewish and occasionally synagogue-going DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz ever contemplated that, even though that might have played well with the sizable Israel-hating portion of the Democratic base, but rather for the fact that he’s not religiously Jewish and proudly proclaims that he has no religious faith at all. How this would have played with a party that loudly booed God at it’s last quadrennial get-together,and has long thrived on he argument that the Republicans are a bunch of snake-handling Bible-thumpers intent on imposing a “Handmaiden’s Tale” theocracy on it’s sizable unmarried women demographic, is so complicated that we doubt even the DNC had any idea how it would play out. This year they’re running against a thrice-married casino-and-strip-joint and reality show mogul who not only doesn’t thump the Bible but embarrassingly refers to its book of “Two Corinthians,” and even if he does claim that the Internal Revenue Service keeps auditing his still-unreleased tax filings because he’s such a “strong Christian” we think a shrewder DNC establishment would have surely tried rigging the system without any mention at all of religion.
The reheated anger of those Sanders supporters will surely pose a problem to every political convention’s main goal of presenting a semblance of unified party, but we expect that will be cooled somewhat when Sanders himself eventually takes the stage to full-throatedly endorse the woman he had so long and so rightly castigated as a corrupt candidate who helped to herself to millions of dollars of largesse from the billionaires who have rigged the system. At the Republican convention the runner-up declined to explicitly endorse the nominee, who had mocked the runner-up’s wife’s looks and implicitly accused his father of being in on the Kennedy assassination, and had instead advised Republicans to “vote your conscience,” which was reasonably understood as an attack on the nominee, so by the end of the week those liberal media the Republican nominee rails against should be able to to present a semblance of a unified party.
There’s a good Democratic plot line in the fact that Wikileaks has apparently often received its information from Russian intelligence sources, and that the Republican nominee and his associates seem to have an uncomfortable business and ideological and temperamental relationship with the totalitarian Russkies, but the presumptive Democratic nominee has already done much to negate that other significant advantage. She was the one who offered that ridiculous “reset button” to the Russians, and the at-this-point conspiracy theory that the Russians were behind only reminds once again of the consequences of her and her party’s “extremely careless” method of handing internet communications. If the conspiracy theories are correct, more embarrassing revelations will be forthcoming, but if all the equally plausible Republican conspiracy theories about the Internal Revenue Service are true we can also expect some embarrassing revelations from the past many years of tax filings that the Republican nominee refuses to disclose.
The Democrats should be able to come up with some more impressive celebrities than Scott Baio and the rest of the questionable character witnesses the Republican came up, but they’ll also have to come up with a new script for the rest of it. All the usual panic about the looming theocracy is out the window, given the Republican’s fond embrace of the “LGBTQ” community and the throwing under the bus of those pesky Bible-thumpers who’d prefer not to bake their wedding cakes or not have some guy hanging around their daughter’s shower rooms, and despite the Republican’s undeniably sexist comments on the Howard Stern Show and other outlet’s he’s made an opening bid for the women’s vote with taxpayer-paid child care, and he’s even gone beyond that self-described socialist in his anti-free trade rhetoric.
Despite their connections to the higher echelons of Hollywood the Democrats aren’t very good at coming up with new scripts, but of course even the highest echelons of Hollywood seem hard pressed to come up with anything old scripts with new genders these days. As lifelong Republicans up until the Indiana primary we’re not inclined to offer the Democrats any advice, and being as flummoxed as anybody by the current Republican nominee we’re in no position offer any ideas in case, but our best guess is that they should try be to normal. As awful as she is the presumptive Democratic nominee hasn’t lately spouted off about paying America’s creditors less than they have been promised, or making our treaty obligations contingent on the president’s notions of who’s been paying their fair share, or indulging in the craziest-yet Kennedy assassination conspiracies or threatening trade wars, and given that we can’t think of anything else to say for that awful woman we think she’d do best to go with that.
That won’t be easy, though, Democrats being Democrats.
— Bud Norman